You don't have asthma, your pregnant
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
That was before I lit my hair on fire
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
