Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
