I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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