so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
