I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Thank you for not boning my boss.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
