Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
