You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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