Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
