Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
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