so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
