I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
