I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
