So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
