Midget sex pt 2 tonight
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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