Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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