Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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