Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
