I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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