How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Send help, water and tortillas.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
