just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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