We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Randomize
