Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
