I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
