Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
