Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Randomize
