Barsexuality is the new black.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
