I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
