When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
