when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
