it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
