Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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