my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
