Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
