bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
