Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
