Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
