I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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