yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
