Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
