Whats the glycemic index on semen?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
