as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
