I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
sick fucks of a feather flock together
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
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