There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Randomize
