operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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