i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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