The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
