Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
