I wish I could punch you in the face.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
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