If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
