Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
