Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
