youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Randomize
