How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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