Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
a search helicopter?!
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
